Friday, March 13, 2015


I really need to clean out my pocketbook.  It's disgusting in there.  I just haven't gotten to it.  Instead, I carry all this extra junk around with me, these little souvenirs from nowhere particularly noteworthy.

I probably should make a point of dumping most of the crap out into the trash. Start fresh.  I bet it'd be less work to simply remove all traces of my identification, douse the sack in lighter fluid and toss a match.  Walk away in slow motion as the fire ignites and sets off a chain reaction to the gasoline truck parked adjacent to the fuel pumps.  As the massive 'kaboom' lights up the sky, I can saunter calmly toward the Kangaroo in search of orange soda.  Gosh, I love a clean slate scenario. And soda.

This morning when I was in the Kangaroo securing my breakfast beverage, the gentleman standing in line behind me approached the front counter with a question.

"Would you happen to have a pen?" he inquired politely.

"I do," I volunteered.

I knew I had at least twenty five of them in my bag of useless keepsakes.  Quite frankly, I was thrilled for the opportunity to dispatch even the smallest portion of my garbage.  I gladly offered him one.

"Keep it," I insisted.

While swirling my hand around the bottom of this portable abyss, I also found some candy I forgot was in there.  I offered to share that, as well.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nerd Rope.  It's a gummy licorice string with little pieces of sugar glued all over."

I should have quit while I was ahead.  As I was explaining the chemical composition of this tasty treat, it started to dawn on me that perhaps Nerd Rope might be a little too intimate a share with a complete stranger in line at the convenience store.  But I was so excited that this random individual had come into my life and asked for something I actually had.  How often does that happen?  A situation where one person requests a specific item and the other person is in a position to oblige.  It's a remarkable exchange.  So I hung onto the celebratory magic of the moment.  Too much coffee might very well have had something to do with that extra boost of generosity, but that's neither here nor there.

"No, thank you," he replied.

Suit yourself, I thought.

I completed my purchase and returned to my vehicle, unwrapping what was left of the candy I can't remember buying.  Had we been to the movies?  I guess so, but when?  How long have I been carrying this magnificent treasure around?  I wish I knew I had it with me last Tuesday.  I was so hungry coming back from the podiatrist with my dad.  I reached down under the driver's seat and fished around for some almonds or maybe a few pieces of cereal while I waited at the light. Nothing.

I guess it doesn't matter.  I'm just really glad I came across it when I did.  If I could make a wish for anything worth finding in my pocketbook, it would be delicious Nerd Rope.  It is inarguably the pinnacle of confectionary technology.

I wonder what else I've got in this bag.  Perhaps I'll take another look later.

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