Monday, April 21, 2014

Letter #2: Let's Party!

April 21, 2014

Mr. David Sedaris
Little, Brown and Company
237 Park Avenue
New York, NY  10017

Dear Mr. Sedaris:

Our youngest child, Rory will be ten years old in a couple of weeks.  Until this year, David and I have been able to successfully avoid hosting lavish birthday celebrations on his behalf.  Instead, we've splurged on trips to exotic locations to commemorate the day he was born.  Once, we took the boys to a fancy restaurant where they light the food on fire.  Desmond insisted on leaning over the table to share crayons with his brother, singeing the sleeve of his jacket on several occasions.  It was a very dangerous meal.  Another time, we stayed overnight at the indoor water park and Dave got pink eye.  Last Spring, we went to Myrtle Beach for the weekend.  Nothing bad happened there, which was nice.  Nevertheless as Brother gets older, it's becoming more and more difficult to postpone the inevitable.  All the child wants is some informal merriment here at the house.

We had a birthday get-together for our older son back in December, and it went very well.  He turned eleven in fine form.  We told Desmond he could invite four friends over for pizza and a film at the local theater.  He chose his guests very carefully, all well-mannered young men with similar civilized interests.  Plus Rory. The weather was rainy and unpleasant, which did throw a monkey wrench on their plans for a spirited Nerf War in the backyard.  Quite frankly, I was grateful for the precipitation.  Nobody ever wants to police up those foamy darts when the battle is over.  Not that I retrieve them myself, but Dave doesn't like doing it either.

After lunch, we loaded the men into the bigger car and drove to Stonecrest to watch The Hobbit 2.  Have you seen this movie?   I never would have sat through it voluntarily.  Too much fantasy, if you ask me.  I prefer story lines with real people in crisis.  But since it wasn't my birthday and my husband was clearly outnumbered, I kept my opinions to myself and did my best to enjoy the show.  It wasn't really that bad, but 161 minutes is a long time to just be sitting.  Unless you're asleep.  Then, you should really have more minutes.  Do you know how to pronounce the word, Smaug?  Everyone says it differently.

I'm writing to find out if you'd like to join us for this next party.  Please know that Rory and Desmond are acutely different in temperament and demeanor.  So this gig isn't gonna look anything like the last one.  Pizza is once again on the menu, but I'm guessing that will be the only similarity.  Brother runs with a silly, excitable crew.  They still think stepping on ketchup packets is a victimless crime.

The Amazing Spiderman 2 is the afternoon's film choice.  I think this offering will be better than The Hobbit because Spiderman is almost like a real person.  Have you seen any of this series?  An ordinary young man has a great deal of power thrust upon him as a result of his reaction to a spider bite.  And with all the power, you see, there's a lot of grown-up responsibility.  Crisis angle.  As you'd imagine, he has a difficult time handling that challenge to his development because he's just a kid.  It's actually very poetic.  I bet you'd like it.

Of course, I understand if you have other plans for Saturday, May 10th.  Just please keep in mind that if you perceive this as good idea, you're signing on for seven hours of your life that you can never get back.


Mary Killian

P.S.  Inviting you to the party was really Rory's idea.  He knows I've been trying to think of ways to get you to come over.
P.P.S.  By all means, please bring Hugh.

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