Thursday, December 19, 2013

Nuts to Butts!

When you like somebody, it's a smart idea to find out as much as you can about that person.  This way, you can identify mutual interests that can help grow and sustain a healthy relationship.  It's also a nice way to let the object of your affection think you're paying attention to what she has to say, even if your mind is on cartoons.

Maybe your love interest is really shy, or perhaps she thinks you are stupid. Don't be discouraged!  There are lots of ways that you can hopefully change her mind so she can get to liking you as soon as possible.

Ask anyone who's been together for a very long time.  It's almost a necessity that you have the same favorite color.  If you like green and she's into pink, things are probably not gonna work out.  If you both dig yellow, start planning the wedding immediately.

Girls love crafts!  Talk about Rainbow Loom.  Make her a bracelet.  Make bracelets for all of her friends.  Do not let your jewelry-making get in the way of your homework.  Your mom may take away your rubber bands and crochet needle until you get your priorities straight.  Without those bracelets, you'll have nothing to talk about and you may never get married.

Discussions with regard to the passing of gas are off limits.  It's that simple. No matter how hilarious, wisecracking about body parts is in poor taste.  If that mother of yours finds out that you've initiated this brand of blue humor, she'll be cross and very disappointed.  Your TV privileges will undoubtedly be jeopardized, and it's just not worth the risk.  Save the fart jokes for your guy friends.

Find out if your future wife has any food allergies before you slip a fun size Snicker's Bar into her Christmas treat bag.  This bold tactic won't garner the attention you're hoping for, especially if she's allergic to peanuts.  It will, however, guarantee you a visit to the Assistant Principal's office for a lengthy discussion about potential health hazards and other good intentions gone terribly awry.

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